I killed Midnight Von Halftail

My album Under A Searchlight Moon turns 10 this week. 10 years…that would make it a 5th grader.

In 5th grade I was the new kid. Being a new kid is a lot of pressure:

If you make the pretty kids laugh you’re golden. 
Accidentally let your lunch speak while stretching in gym and you’re done. 

I remember 2 things about 5th grade: my teacher’s kids called their grandfather Donkey (Donkey?!?) 

And I killed the class pet. 

Our room had a black gerbil with half a tail. Its name escapes me. But being the new kid, I was tasked with taking it home for the weekend. 

Its travel quarters was a precarious combo of a rusty bird cage without a bottom on top of a cafeteria tray held together with 2 bungee cords.

Night 1 was a success. Midnight Von Halftail slept, exercised, and ate like gerbils do. The next morning I took him out to stretch. 

He never made it back into the cage. 

In my defense…the process was not unlike trying to change your car’s oil…while holding up the hood…And it’s in neutral. 

The whole family searched. But after 2 days without a sighting we knew what we had to do:

Go to the pet store and find a black, half-tailed gerbil. 

They’re not as common as you might think. 

So on Monday I delivered to the class their brand new pet: a blonde and white hamster that I named Twinkie. 

Who doesn’t love Twinkies?!  

(Don’t blow it kid.)

This is pretty cool: 

1. The Moon has a tail.

2. How the ancient Greeks knew the earth was round by using “sticks, eyes, feet, and brains.”

3. I need to clarify in Tongue Like A Hammer when I say: “belly button fuzz and your hip hop name.”
That’s MY belly button fuzz and HER hip hop name. 
Her hip hop name being “Malik the 5 foot freak” named after Phife Dawg in A Tribe Called Quest.
My favorite Tribe song is Buggin Out.

4. Here’s the largest collection of belly button lint in the world.

5. Under a searchlight moon would be far less cool without the production and friendship of Trey Pollard. He released a gorgeous album of his classical music that I love.

6. Here’s a Twitter thread of classical music used in cartoons.

7. I rewatched the video for Forever Never Knowing for the first time in 10 years. That was the day I dressed up my newlywed wife like a horse to dance around with me in front of my friends for the album cover. 

Say “hey” if you get a sec,

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